"A man said to his wife one day "I don't know how you can be so beautiful and so stupid at the same time." The wife said "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you."That got a loud laugh and some foot stomping applause from most of the women in the audience and she continued on. The next one must have been for Bobby Denton because everyone knew about his penchant for blond jokes."A mathematician, a philosopher and a blond go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil. If they can stump him they can go to Heaven instead of being roasted by the fires in Hell. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard question. The Devil smiled and said, "That the best you got?" and then rattled off the answer. The mathematician went next and the Devil instantly gave the answer. When it was the blonds' turn she took a chair and bored three holes in the seat. She sat down on the chair and she farted.. It was as though he ought to know about my life, that there was a prime reason why he must share my secret thoughts. “Either way, they had no idea my life style would imitate fiction; their only daughter - their lone child - was christened after the song. They never knew what they did to me ... they died in a car crash before I was four years old.” I paused before the terrible truth escaped my lips. “The lone child became a lonely child.”The silence that followed was painful, however having opened the wound, I was unable to close it. “My parents were wealthy and there was no shortage of relatives keen to adopt me. In the end I was settled upon Uncle Tristram and Aunt Julia. They had no children of their own and although I would have preferred not to be the ‘only child,’ I was too young to be consulted.“I learnt to play on my own, how to let my imagination run wild. My adoptive ‘Dad’ and ‘Mum’ were attentive to my physical, if not my emotional needs. Life was safe and, although there.
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